Autoethnographic experimental film study: The lost object of desire motherhood

Autoethnographic Experimental Film Study: The Lost Object of Desire Motherhood, my autoethnographic experimental film project explores the individual and social experiences of the desire to become a mother and in vitro fertilisation (IVF) treatment. The study consists of three parts. In the first part, I provide a detailed look at the psychological and social dimensions of motherhood and explore the broad and varied impacts of assisted reproductive technologies on society. Using perspectives from ethnographic film and reflexive ethnography, I theoretically examine these technologies' roles in people's lives, their effects on life quality, emotional states, and social relationships. In this section, I address the psychological burden and societal expectations that the desire for motherhood places on individuals; I explore the emotional, financial, and physical burdens of IVF on women and families through various examples, considering cultural, economic, and social diversity and its impact on individual identity. Additionally, I discuss the ethical and moral issues, societal taboos, and challenges individuals face in these processes. In the second part, I focus on the methodology. I introduce the autoethnographic approach as a research method I use to understand the emotional and psychological effects of IVF on individuals. Through this approach, I directly reflect the emotional reflections of stress, hope, disappointment, and success that the treatment creates in people, using personal stories and observations. These stories reveal how individuals cope with the challenges during the treatment process and the changes in their social relationships and personal identities. I also discuss the analytical methods used to deeply understand the emotional impacts of IVF on individuals and how these methods are applied. The third and perhaps most impactful part presents an autoethnographic experimental film featuring my experiences and those of other individuals in the IVF process. This section addresses the hopes, disappointments, and challenges brought by the treatment process in-depth and artistically. The film uses a visual-auditory language to convey this complex and emotional process to the audience, showcasing the impacts of the treatment in human life. In this way, the study aims to offer a new and profound perspective on the experiences of motherhood desire and IVF, addressing these topics through the lived realities of individuals.