The effects of psycho-social characteristics in match-maker and flirtation marriage

Match-maker system and dating are two types of relationship representing traditional and modern values that result from East and West mentalities, respectively. In contrast to `mother?woman? norm in traditional society, `working-woman? norm have become predominant. In Western society, starting before marriage, individuals look for male or female candidate as spouse by flirting in that sexual act is accepted as normal. In Turkish society, with the understanding of `there is a miracle in marriage?, individuals find his/her mate with the system of match-maker, in that affection mostly develops after marriage.Mentality and culture give shape to relationship before marriage. Individual candidate builds up personality and identity with the influences of development process, sexual difference, social and psychological elements. In conjunction with the other effects, both male and female preparing to marriage encounter with two different type of relationship.Commonly accepted marriage type for Turkish society is match-maker system. But, this system is applied with firm and compulsion norms compared to dating. As a solution, `conscious relationship? may be represented with the inclusion of family and society. For this, social dynamics should also create healthy gender culture. This must be accomplished with family, education and health institution.In the example of Demirci, it was achieved comparative conclusion after investigating attitudes and behaviors of married couple relevant pre-marriage relationship between dating and match-maker systems. In the sample group marriage, mostly match-maker system is effective. But, contrary to the scientific finding, the longer dating duration, the healthier relationship is, common sense. This contradicts with the belief of `be hastening in beneficial affairs?. The study presents a set of perceptible suggestions to the young marital candidate for guiding in academic discipline.As a social fact, `mediator mechanism? option, facilitating marital decision and harmonious family construction, is disappearing. The most important precaution to fill this gap, municipality must request `marriage sufficiency certificate? or document? showing individual?s readiness and consciousness as they request blood analysis from both sides. Legal legislation for this case should be renewed. Services towards the candidates should be given by preliminary the specialist in the field of sociology, psychology and pedagogy. Besides professionalism in the area, these specialists should also consider social and cultural attributes and mentality differences of each individual for sufficiency evaluation.