The meaning of hope in the prenatal loss experience: A qualitative study

Objective: The aim of the research is to examine the emotions, thoughts and experiences of women who experience prenatal loss and the meaning they place in hope through in-depth interviews and drawing method. Methods: Descriptive phenomenological design has been adopted in this research. The sample of the research was the first time that a prenatal loss was experienced after a planned and desired pregnancy, between the weeks of gestation. The data of the study were collected between July 2017 and January 2019 with individual indepth interviews, semi-structured interview form with personal information, observation notes drawing guide. The data were analyzed by the thematic analysis method of Braun and Clarke. In reporting this research, Qualitative Research Reporting Consolidated Criteria has been used as a guide. Results: From the analysis of the interviews, six themes and 19 sub-themes and a total of 17 drawings were obtained for the meaning that women attributed to hope in prenatal loss. The main theme of "A good start: pregnancy" has sub-themes of "pregnancy is equal to motherhood", "living miracle" and "having responsibility". The main theme of "traumatic pregnancy and birth experience" has sub-themes of "fearful waiting", "be over now" and "doing the stillbirth". The main theme of "meeting the unavoidable end" " has five sub-themes as "storms inside me", "disappointment", "desire to be alone", and "unable to experience suffering", "fear of living again". The theme of "others in the process" has sub-themes of "witness of partners", "sorrow of children" and "loss in family" were found. Regarding the "indispensable leave" theme; sub-themes were found as "being incomplete", "keeping in memories", In the last theme, "picture of hope"; sub-themes were found to "live hope", "live hope and despair together" and "on the road of hope". Conclusion: Within this study, the experience of the meaning of hope with women who experienced prenatal loss for the first time in our country was examined with a phenomenological research. Prenatal loss was the loss of the future, loss of hopes and dreams about the baby, as well as the loss of the hope of becoming a mother. It was observed that women lived at different levels of hope and hopelessness. Keywords: hope, hopelessness, nursing, phenomenology, prenatal loss